Save the children? Why?

The new holiday institution of guilt mongering is upon us. There are booths at my local shopping megaplex rivaling to get my shame dollar “to help children in developing countries”.

To help them what? Children who you rescue from starvation today are going to turn right around and have more children that you have to rescue tomorrow, only they'll have like 15.

And you wanna know what else? People in poor countries with horrendous educations tend to be either Christian or Muslim (save for the obvious example of India), the two historically least tolerant religions on Earth (but only because they appeal to intolerant people).

Know what people do when they’re not starving to death? That’s right, they declare war on other mother fuckers, that’s what.

Also, these morally superior cunts that browbeat you for donations, you’re paying for the administration of their charity, NGO, whatever the fuck they want to call these days. Paper, nice new Mac’s, swivel chairs, travel expenses, thanks a lot sucker, you just validated their expensive college degree bitch. They will tell you how much of your donation goes towards actual people who are in need, but here’s the thing, charities can only exist when and where people are in need, so it is in the collective interest of people employed by, or volunteering for, charities to keep people in need.

Need proof?

Look at a map.

People helping people are really just people helping themselves while helping to create and maintain systematic dependency. It is the epitome of irony when you consider any given sap who donates to a charity will, in the same 15 minute span purchase something that rewards the global economic paradigm that creates poor people. Actually fuck that, poor people make poor people every time they fuck without birth control. Let’s just be real up front about that here and now.

I know it’s popular to imagine Mr. Big and all his honkeys stacking gold coins amongst a din of evil laughter, while brown people starve to death in hot factories pumping out cheap plastic happiness, but the fact of the matter remains really quite simple (for reductionists like me) in a world where value is subjective, and a major input to that subjectivity is the growing human population. 7 billion people can’t all have a fucking cheeseburger, a German made luxury car, and a 4 bedroom, 2 car garage house (relax if that’s not what you want, no one cares) stuffed full of flat screen internet ready HiDef App riddled monkey fucking materiel. Don’t even get me started on all the shit you really don’t need, but gotta have, because the division of labour DEMANDS that you keep buying so that kids don’t starve to death.

FUCK STARVING KIDS. I don’t care about them. Starving children = too many fucking people, PERIOD.

So donate if you must. Just please don’t think you’re helping someone out, you’re just not. Wanna help people? Start sterilizing people, behind their backs. The less of us, the better off everything else that breathes on this planet will be.

Merry Xmas!